It’s hard to hear that your ex is dating again. It can be even more unsettling to learn that the new partner is often around your children. Some even babysit during your ex’s parenting time.
You may be:
- Worried your children will get attached to the new partner
- Concerned about how the new partner will affect your children
- Uncomfortable with the idea of a stranger “parenting” your child
- Hurt because it seems too soon
- Angry and disrespected because you heard about it from your child instead of your ex
These feelings are completely understandable. As a co-parent, of course you’ll wonder if time with your ex’s new partner is good for your children.
Ex’s New Partner Allowed Around Child
Is your ex’s new partner allowed around your children? In most cases, yes. Typically, the new partner can be around the children, and even babysit, during your ex’s parenting time.
Why He or She Can Be Around Your Kids
That’s because your ex has parenting time, and parenting time comes with certain parental rights. In Minnesota, the law presumes each parent can raise the child. That includes deciding who is around the child, unless there’s evidence otherwise.
So during their parenting time, your ex can generally decide who spends time with the child. That includes a new partner.
It’s similar to choosing a babysitter. Unless your decree or custody order says otherwise, each parent can choose a babysitter during their own time. That can include a new partner.
When Ex’s New Partner Can’t Be Around or Babysit Children
However, there are two situations when your ex’s new partner can’t be around the children or babysit them:
- Your current order prohibits it. Your parenting plan, custody order, or divorce decree may limit your ex’s partner from being around the children or babysitting. If so, allowing it would violate the order. So check what your current order says.
- The new partner puts the children in danger. Even then, you would need a court order to enforce a restriction, unless your existing order already addresses it.
Circumstances When Ex’s New Partner Could Be Restricted
A judge may restrict an ex’s new partner from babysitting or being around the children if the partner’s presence is likely to:
- Endanger the child’s physical or emotional health, or
- Impair the child’s emotional development.
(Minn. Stat. § 518.175, subds. 1 and 5.)
Court Order to Restrict Due to Endangerment
A court could restrict a new partner who poses a real risk to the child’s physical or emotional health.
For example, a judge could keep a new partner away from the child if the partner has abused the child physically, emotionally, or sexually. In fact, exposing a child to a registered sex offender could put the ex’s own custody and parenting time at risk.
Similarly, a judge might bar a new partner from babysitting after driving drunk with the children or seriously neglecting them.
Court Order to Restrict Ex’s New Partner Due to Developmental Risks to Child
A court could also restrict an ex’s new partner if the partner’s presence harms the child’s emotional development.
For example, a very young child may be getting confusing messages about who their parent is. In that case, the new partner could pose a developmental risk. The other parent might then ask the court to bar the new partner from staying overnight or visiting during the ex’s time.
Court Order Restricting Ex’s New Partner
If your ex’s new partner is putting your child’s safety or development at risk, act right away. In Minnesota, if a parent makes specific claims that parenting time puts a child in danger, the court must hold a hearing as soon as possible.
Keep in mind that Minnesota judges have a lot of discretion here. It’s not enough to say the new partner is dangerous. Instead, you’ll need specific examples and facts showing how the partner endangers your child. A family law attorney can be a big help at this point.
If your child is in immediate danger, call 911 or contact child protection services, and talk with an attorney about an emergency (ex parte) motion or an order for protection.
Related reading: Emergency Custody in Minnesota.
Have another divorce or family law question? See our list of topics or the FAQ page.
Talk to a Minnesota divorce and family law attorney
Send a message or email, and Matt will reply within one business day. Monday through Friday, 8:00 a.m. to 6:00 p.m.
Phone consultations are by appointment. Email or use the form to schedule one.